If you think you're sexy...

So, I was browsing You Tube and came across this video: He Doesn't Love You by one Sarah Rae Vargas, an apparently popular you tube personality who promotes body confidence and other such things on her channel. If you haven't watched her videos and you are all about some self-lovin', take no bullshit, tell it like it is, strong woman empowerment -- then I highly suggest you take the time to check out her videos. If you REALLY insist that you just do not have the time or inclination to watch, the gist of the video is this: "One cannot truly have someone else love them unless they love themselves first."

I listened to her message in this video, and I was honestly kind of moved by her candid approach to an issue that a lot of women around the world struggle with. I myself have been going through some serious transformation (as in, discovering who I am and actively working to change myself for the better) lately, so this message seems rather timely in my opinion. The message made me think: am I red or am I blue (watch the video)? Am I something else altogether? Do I love me? IF I don't love all of me, does that make me "insecure"?

I've never thought of myself as an insecure person. Quite the contrary, I've always seen myself as someone who is confident and has a healthy amount of self-respect. I find it easy to list off the positive traits about myself with no reserve. I truly believe that I'm beautiful, intelligent, honest, kind, compassionate, driven, responsible, etc. Having said that, I've always had very high standards for myself. I also readily admit that I've never been able to live up to my own standards AND I find it difficult to accept a compliment as genuine, even if I believe the message to be true. I think I'm beautiful, but I don't always believe it when others tell me that I am. How messed up is that???

So, I had to dig deeper. I had to pull this apart and examine it and find out what makes this dichotomy possible. I went back... wayyyyyy back! I'm talkin' about a lay down on the sofa regression therapy, lets do some hypnosis inside my head about all of your childhood events, how does that make you feel kinda thing. Yep. Wayyyyy back.

After some time, I came to a conclusion (or three) about some things:

• Like it or not, your childhood really does shape your worldview (and your beliefs about yourself) in many ways.
• It IS possible to reprogram your brain to think differently.
• If you want to change the way you think, it takes an honest awareness of your current beliefs, and the willingness to work towards the goal of being mindful and open about your thoughts and feelings.
• I have some work to do!

I know I'm not alone in this. I know there are other people (I say people, not just women, for a reason) who find this struggle to be real and true and somewhat daunting to overcome. I'm certain that this is a topic that people don't talk about openly, but should! The only way to overcome an issue is to face it head on and put it out there, regardless of how uncomfortable it makes you feel.

This leads me to my final conclusion: The main reason why people are so stuck in negative thought patterns is because they internalize their emotions and never truly DEAL with them. We have become conditioned to ignore the things that make us uncomfortable, rather than expressing them and arriving at a solution. We live in a society where cowardice is the norm in regards to our own personal struggles. It's no wonder divorce rates and crime are at an all time high -- because communication and being honest with ourselves is at an all time low! Let's not be blue. Let's choose to be red (watch the video, dammit!).

I salute you, Sarah Rae Vargas, for opening the communication back up. There may be many that don't agree with your sentiments, but I'll give you this: You got them talking.