I don't give a fuck. Do you?

Note to the easily offended: Exit stage left before you increase your chances of falling through the gaping hole in the middle of the stage. It is also a rather long read, but it's worth it. You have been warned.

So, let's discuss this, shall we? First, a background. Someone said to me, "You don't give a fuck what people think." To which I replied, "Yes, that is true... but not in an 'I don't care' kinda way. I don't give a fuck in a 'I know my own truth' kinda way."

You see, it is my opinion that there are different schools of thought regarding the "I don't give a fuck" mentality. There are the people who just genuinely don't care about anything, including (usually) themselves. Then there are those who generally don't care what others think, but not because they don't care about others - they don't give a fuck because their own truth is more important than the opinions of other people. Let's unpack this.

School of thought #1: I don't give a fuck about anyone or anything.

This is the product of pain. The types of people who profess to "not give a fuck" about anyone or anything, usually said with tones of defiance or anger, often do so because they've been hurt or they suffer from an abundance of insecurity. This is the "I don't give a fuck" that REALLY means "I'm not going to let you close enough to hurt me". In actual fact, one of two things is occurring here:

1. This person really does care. They just don't want others to see that they give a fuck out of fear that they might appear weak. This person is under the false impression that showing emotion is equal to weakness. For whatever reason, they believe that they must appear emotionless in order to be strong. I suggest to this person that they look up the definition of the word "strength". Hell, I'll do it for you! You're welcome.
   
   Strength: noun¹
   
   1. mental power, force, or vigor.
   2. moral power, firmness, or courage.
   3. power by reason of influence, authority, resources, numbers, etc.
   4. effective force, potency, or cogency, as of inducements or arguments:
      the strength of his plea.
   
   If you are one of the above described people, then it is now time to give up on your false notion of what it means to be strong. The character of someone with true strength is one who faces their fear head-on, someone who is bold enough to be vulnerable and STRONG enough to admit when they are wrong, or hurt, or sad, or angry, or happy, or any other normal human emotion that passes through their mind. If you don't give a fuck because you're just too terrified to admit that you are human, it's time to re-evaluate.
   
2. This person really does NOT care. They are selfish and self-serving. This person probably used to be like person A and was never able to rise above it. They became so overcome with bitterness that they stopped caring, they are a victim of circumstance (OR) they were just born/raised to be uncaring. Parents are often heard telling their child that "words don't hurt" and are sending the message that hurtful things should be ignored rather than addressed immediately. We've all heard the saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me". I call bullshit. Words CAN and DO hurt. If words didn't have the power to wound, then our emotions wouldn't freak out when someone else spoke to us harshly. Words hurt. Offense happens. If you were taught to ignore it instead of addressing the issue, you were taught wrong. If THAT statement offends you, ask yourself why. Do you see my point yet?

School of thought #2: I don't give a fuck, in general, because my own truth matters more.

This person listens to constructive criticism and uses sound judgement skills to make a decision on said criticism. This person is able to self-evaluate effectively and is strong enough to admit when something is wrong or needs to be changed. This person cares, but not so much that they let the opinions of others warp their own perception of the truth. This person lives by their own truth. For example, one thing I'm CERTAIN of about myself is that my eyes are hazel. If someone told me that my eyes were brown, I wouldn't believe them -- because I know that my eyes are hazel. They could do everything in their power to try to convince me otherwise, but I know this about myself so I cannot be convinced. My eyes are hazel, not brown. This is a truth that I am certain of.

Similarly, if someone offered their opinion of me based on my actions/lifestyle/character/etc, it would have little impact on me because I know who I am. I know to be true the kind of person I am. Nobody else's opinion makes much of a difference, because I'm certain of who I am. It isn't that I don't care or that I'm immune to getting my feelings hurt. I just have the ability to evaluate a statement as either true or false and either act on it or throw it out as invalid. So, I don't give a fuck what others say about me. I know me, and I like me. IF I see something that I think needs to be changed, I'll change it -- for myself, not for them -- because I want to believe MY truth, not theirs.

So no, I don't give a fuck what others think...not because I don't care, but because I. Just. Don't. Give. A. Fuck. No fucks were given today. Not a single fuck crossed my path. This is me, not giving a fuck. Zero fucks were had. Do you have any fucks to give? I didn't think so.

*EDITED to add: I just came across this video on you tube that pretty much says what I'm trying to say, but with a different spin on it. Go watch this!! She says it brilliantly! Just love yourself. Don't Panic. It's Not Real.

---

^{1. [Definition obtained from dictionary.com]↩}